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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Besties feeling rather down right now.
And all I could do is to lend a listening ear.
Ive been in that situation for so many times
and they're the ones who willing to hear my sorrows and feelings.
Its kinda hurt though cause somehow I could feel the way they feel.
And I cant bear to see them that way.
But I could only pray for their happiness.
& hopefully they are strong enough to face this TEST from Allah s.w.t.

As for me, Im just unsure of what Im feeling right now.
One moment im happy, another moment im sad.
Life is just too complicated.
At times we're happy, at times we're sad.
At times we crack jokes with each other,
At times we burst into laughter.
And I dont know why, each time when we're too happy,
at the end of the day, something seems to go wrong somewhere
which makes the heart a little sensitive over some issues.
Mood swing and there I go, wanting to be alone for a moment.
Ive been wondering and wondering.
But I dont know what Im thinking about.
Negative thoughts started to fill the mind,
keep haunting me day and night.

Was it that bad?
Is there still a hope for the past?
Where does another love given to?
Why does it finish so fast?
Why must it be negative?

Headache! Headache!
I wish for a peace of mind right now.
Can I?

The Story Of You & Me
12:08 AM.




Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I kept thinking lately.
About my past, present and future.
Slowly erasing some old memories from my mind.
I feel like starting afresh.
When I'm reminded of the past,
I just cant seem to move on.
I guess its time to let go of the past.
From A to F to R to B to F to N.
Saying goodbye to old memories that left a deep cut in my heart long time ago.

Im sorry for having doubts about you
Im sorry for not being myself these days
Im sorry for keeping things from you
Im sorry for being angry at you
Im sorry to make you feel so bad
Im sorry to make you angry with me
Im sorry for everything

At times I just wanted to be alone.
Having some thoughts on everything.
I wonder, I wonder and I wonder.
At times I felt its unfair to him.
I cant seem to trust him completely when he do trust me 100%.
He never have any doubts about me but I do have on him.
Although he's angry with me, he do talk to me about it whereas I prefer to
keep myself in silence and kept him waited for my msg the whole day.
I feel so guilty towards him that at times I felt I wasnt good enough for him.
But nevetherless leaving him never had once come across my mind
cause despite everything,
I wanna go through every challenges ahead with him.
He makes me feel the love that I yearn for all these while.


He told me day by day I seemed to change.
Im not nanie that he once knew the first time we're together.
I choose to be in silence whenever I have some thoughts in my mind.
Not only about relationship, but about my path of life, work, etc.
I seldom share with him about my feelings, my thoughts.
Maybe thats the reason why he was worried.
There's some things that Ive been keeping to myself.
I wanted to share to him but I dont have the courage to let it all out to him.
I guess its time.
Since Ive made up my mind of letting go of the past,
maybe by sharing everything, it will make my heart at ease.
At least there's nothing to hide from him anymore.
This way, perhaps, enable me to move on. =))
I cant take it anymore. Haha!

Cheer up Nanie!!
& Zul, lets have that Ice Cream again at YTP!! ;P

The Story Of You & Me
2:14 PM.




Thursday, March 11, 2010

Time check 12.22am.
And here I am blogging.
Just couldnt sleep. Guess thinking too much about dearie.
Situations getting complicated.
We came from a different kind of life that at times it makes it hard for us
to understand each other.
Ive told myself from the very beginning that I will accept every flaws and strengths
in him when I accepted him in my life.
It tooks a lot of patience to go through all these.
And alhamdulillah up till now I manage to pull it through.
Love ones been asking me why do I always get involved with someone like him.
The only thing I told them was,
"Bukan nanie yang cari.
Tapi tuhan yang temukan nanie dengan zul mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya.
& nanie tak pernah kesal mengenali diri dia."

I do feel hurt at times.
But I face it and think positively.
Remembering the times we spent together,
it gives me strength to move on.
Remember the times when he shared his feelings in the taxi while otw to CWP,
the first time he cried in front of me, etc,
I'll end up putting a smile and there I am, going back to normal.
I guess thats how I heal my broken heart. =')
Im tired of shedding tears.
I seriously am.
Enough about the past that hurts.
Like the saying goes, "Put away the photo albums and focus more on your future.
Nostalgia is so yesterday."

Few words to dearie.
Sorry for being angry at u.
Sorry if i make u feel so bad.
Your're not useless.
Dont ever think lowly of yourself.
The more you do, the more i feel so guilty.
I never think lowly of u.
Im here to help u as much as I can without asking anything in return.
You dont need to feel bad towards me.
Just remember in times of good or bad,
I will always here for u.
To go through every challenges ahead together.
I hope u would give me a chance to go through all these together with u.
Dont ever leave me behind by saying ure not good enough for me.
Cause u've done so much without u realizing it.
There's still a long way for us to go.
2 months has passed.
And I still wish to continue our journey till eternity.
Sarang Hae Yo! Zulkiflee Shah! =')

The Story Of You & Me
12:22 AM.




Tuesday, March 9, 2010

School finally over.
And now its time to relax my mind for a little some time
before I start my next journey of life.
Im still confused over where should I go or what should I do now.

-Retaking English O Level
-Register for SPI
-Register for tuition
-Finding FT or PT job
-Taking driving license

Currently still continue working PT at takashimaya.
So many things to think about till at times I felt like going for a vacation
just to find some peace somewhere.
Situations pretty bad this month but Insyaallah I'll be able to stay on positively
with Zul, family and friends by my side. =))

At times I wonder, where are they when I need help?
How tight my situation is, they're not there to help me out.
Am I too kind to people that they felt its easy for them to step on my head?
They will only turn to me when they need me?
But when its my turn, they seems to run away.

Syg, Im sorry for being angry with u.
It hurts me deeply though.
At times I just wish to go faraway from you
but I know I cant.
Cause u once said, u may not be by my side,
but in my heart.Yes. U will always be here
Thats why no matter how far I go, U know u'll find me.
And yes. We will go through this together.
LOVE YOU ALWAYS TOO!!




The Story Of You & Me
12:16 AM.






.hEr BiOGrApHy.


'-NaMe-'
SiTi RoHaNi MuStAfA

'-PrEffErEd NaMe-'
NaNiE

'-D.O.B-'
14 JaNuArY 1990

'-PrOffEsIoN-'
StUdEnT CaRe TeAcHeR

'-SaYiNG-‘
ItS iMpOsSiBLe To Go ThRoUGh LiFe WiThOuT tRuSt



.DeDiCaTiOnS.


~ StArLiGhT tEaRs ~

The white starlight envelops the tears
The tears fall in the warm wind
Do you feel it?
This trembling, quiet whisper that is going your way
I drew you in this white paper
The warm smile holds me
Is this love
Even when i close my eyes, i see only you

I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you

Im walking in my memories with you
The tears fill even the deepest area of my heart
What should i do?
Even in my dream i miss you

I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you

Please look at me, like the faraway stars
Can't you be the one thats in my heart

I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you




.tUnEs.




.uNsEpArAtEd.

~ L o V e L i E s ~

NaDiAh
AyU
fArAnUrShEiLa
hAkIm
hAyAtI
sHaRoNa
aL-fEE
iZzAt

~ F r I e N d S ~

aLdEn
AsYrAff
aZLiFa
aZmIrA
cHeRyL
dIn
fAeZaH
fAkHrI
fArEEz
fArInA
hAfIdZa
hUdA
KrYsTaL
LyAnA
MaGGiE
mInG Xi
NaQiAh
NuRuLhUdA
rAiHaNaH
sHaFFiYaN
ShAfIqA
sHeRyL
SyAhIdA
YaNi
Yu QiNG
ZuRaIIn
ZyLaa

~ M I (P A E 0 7 ') ~

AtIkAh
HaFiZaH
IdAh
LiSa
MyRa
ZuLkArNaIn
yUsLiNdA

~ S P ~

aDeLiNe
AhBiAh
aMaLiNa
AmOs
ChOnG YaN
CyNtHiA
DeAn
HaFiLaH
JiNG YiNG
JuN JiE
JuStIn
LiN Qi
ShI JiE
ShI YuN
StEpHaNiE
WiNiFrEd