Alhamdulillah. At last I manage to let out everything to him though there's twist and turn to the story. At least Mr B understand and that he let me go. Well. Im kind of happy since I dont have to keep thinking about this matter anymore. But on the other hand, I feel so guilty towards him. Well. He said he let me go willingly eventhough it breaks his heart. And he did that for the sake of wanting to make me happy. But instead Ive broken his heart. Oh well. Everythings fine now. Thanks Mr B. Thanks for being understanding.
2 days never contact Bf already. Starting to miss him. I guess this is another test given by Him again. I will continue on praying. Hoping that this waiting will not be a waste. Just like the previous experiences that I had gone through before. If I could wait for that someone for more than a month. Why cant I just bear for 2 weeks to wait for Bf. True? I realised that I never expect much from this relationship. Maybe because of my past experience that change me. He do his own things and l'll just do mine. When we have time, we can just communicate with each other for 1 few hours. Simply said, when it comes to work, we work. When it comes to study, we study. And when it comes to spend time with each other, we will. Its easier this way. It wont be of much distraction to me when I have to focus on my FYP. I just hope he's fine. Somehow I felt that when he's not there for me, I feel so insecured. I dont know why. But thats what I feel right now. :(
I seriously miss you, Nir.
The Story Of You & Me 11:48 PM.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I guess everything between me n B has ended. Well, it's partly my fault that I just couldnt tell him the truth. I had to lie to him. Telling him that Im exremely busy with my school. Feel so bad. Hopefully, he'll find someone better. Anyway, gonna miss Nir. Well, I have to wait for him till he topup his pp8. Till 12 june?? Thats super long. But what to do. Haish2. Oh2. Wait2. 12 june?? Haha. Someone's going to NS soon. Lols. Just take care of yourself ok bestie. haha. Till here then. Super tired. Guess might be skipping LSC class tomorrow. Kepenatan deh. Tk boleh angzz luh. >.<
Miss you Nir! :(
The Story Of You & Me 12:28 AM.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Just as I thought. U would msg me again asking for an apology. Yes I accept it. I dont bear any grudges against anyone. I can forgive and forget. But don't expect things will be the same anymore between us.
*Get well soon Nir. I miss you :( *
The Story Of You & Me 8:01 PM.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
This entry is to just let out my frustrations and everything that I feel right now. To Mr B, I am really sorry that I never tell you the truth. I didnt want all this to happen especially when I told you once before that I could somehow give you the love and attention that you needed. Eventually we did not even go into relationship. And that we are only friends. I know it's my fault to ask you to find someone else that can make you happy and give all those love and attention that you desire. Cause I know I can't give all that to you anymore since I already have Nir in my life. It's not just because I have Nir, that I'm doing this. Even if Nir doesnt enter into my life, I still have alot of things to do and think about now. With all my final year proj, school and work, I dont think I have the time for you. I tried to explain this to you but you just don't understand. Now you said, "Don't ever look for me after you graduated from Poly. GET OUT FROM MY LIFE! DAMN YOU!" FINE! If that's what you want. I'LL DO IT! And let me tell you these! All these while you are the one who look for me. You always have that stupid ego of yours that you always blame me and vent your anger at me for something that I had no intention to do that to you at all. And in the end you apologize to me so many times and even have the guts to say you scared of losing me? I seriously dont understand a guy like you. And I'm super pissed off right now. I have no time to think about all these. So sorry for letting out all my frustrations in this entry.
The Story Of You & Me 9:19 PM.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I feel super tired and sleepy today. Cause I only slept for like less than 3 hours. Thanks to my painful tooth that makes me have difficulty sleeping. And ended up talking to Bf on the phone from 2 plus till 5 plus in the morning. Later I have to go for MI Carnival. After that have to go for Aisyah's Kak Angkat wedding for ushering. Still havent decide what clothes to wear later. Haish2.
Anyway, its already 1 week we've been together. And Im glad that each day passed by, our relationship gets stronger and stronger. Well, I dont want to put high hopes on this relationship. Thanks for being honest to me about yourselves. I able to accept everything despite the negative things that u had in u. And thanks for accepting me the way I am and understand me. We fell for each other because of our sincerity and I hope that it will forever remain that way. U never failed to make me smile each day. :)
The Story Of You & Me 11:17 AM.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WORLD :))
Well, I felt so bad not giving anything to ibu. She's not feeling well at the moment. Hope she will get better soon. How I wish she doesnt have to feel all those pain. There was once she having a bad headache and fever. She cried infront of me trying to endure the pain. It hurts me and guess what I do? I pray to Allah s.w.t to let me feel all those pain instead of her. And eventually what I prayed for really come true. Weird huh? Thats what I did. hurhur!
Anyway, to someone there. Ive known you for just a few days and I took the risk of accepting someone new again in my life. I wont ask much from you but just your honesty. I dont want to have high hopes or trust you that much cause of my previous bad experiences. I hope you understand. Respect me for who I am and I will do just the same. Love me for who I am and I will do just the same too. Dont ever make any promises cause in the end promises can be broken. We'll try our best to keep this one continues. :) Whenever there's misunderstanding, we'll try our best to rectify everything. Thats all I need from you, Nir. :)
Thats all for now. Wanna continue my LSC & FM tutorials.
The Story Of You & Me 2:16 PM.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Irritating nose. Irritating migrane. Argghh!! Ok people. Its not swine flu alright. Dont worry. Dont scared to come near me if you see me ok? Hahaha. Lame! Anyways, long time never update eh. Busy with work and school. I was so stressed up with some things. Especially when FYP coming and I dont even have laptop! How super troublesome that is. Everyone was asking what happen to me?? Why am I so quiet nowadays? Haish2. Too many things to think about. 'Someone' always there to hear my problems. But Im so sorry that some things I prefer not to share.
Yesterday, I met 'someone' before I went to work. Missing 'someone'? Yes, I can't deny that. And 'someone' made me laugh non-stop with all the lame jokes. Im still thinking whether or not I should accept 'someone' cause each time I felt confident to tell 'someone' a YES, something stop me from doing so. Ended up swallow that 'YES' back inside. Maybe I should give myself more time to think about that. For now I have to settle some things first. Plus this irritating migrane made me have no mood to think about all those problems that weighing in my head now.
Haish2. Thats all for now. I need to do my LSC and FM tutorials. Good night people! :))
*I miss you!*
The Story Of You & Me 9:13 PM.
.hEr BiOGrApHy.
'-NaMe-'
SiTi RoHaNi MuStAfA
'-PrEffErEd NaMe-'
NaNiE
'-D.O.B-'
14
JaNuArY 1990
'-PrOffEsIoN-'
StUdEnT CaRe TeAcHeR
'-SaYiNG-‘ ItS iMpOsSiBLe To Go ThRoUGh LiFe WiThOuT tRuSt
.DeDiCaTiOnS.
~ StArLiGhT tEaRs ~
The white starlight envelops the tears
The tears fall in the warm wind
Do you feel it?
This trembling, quiet whisper that is going your way
I drew you in this white paper
The warm smile holds me
Is this love
Even when i close my eyes, i see only you
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
Im walking in my memories with you
The tears fill even the deepest area of my heart
What should i do?
Even in my dream i miss you
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
Please look at me, like the faraway stars
Can't you be the one thats in my heart
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
