♥LuAhAn HaTi NaNiE♥

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I guess i'll make this post a quick one though.

Well. Everything went fine these days.
And2, i feel from now on,
it doesnt matter if i got friends in class or not.
Cause loneliness is not important to me anymore.
Studies is important.
Cause i'll be taking some year long modules.
Which to me, its very2 difficult.
I cant slack like last yr.
And i'll make sure every single thing i have learn
during lectures and tutorials, i must understand!
DONT UNDERSTAND GO AND ASK! :D

I just read SY's blog.
And i can say, i feel very sad for her.
I can imagine the same thing happen to me.
But maybe im not that worst still.
Hopefully everything will go well on her.
Just need time.
And to say, I miss u too.
Ure the one i like to talk to in class last sem.
May u stay happy always.
We just need to endure and be patience
for everything that happen yea.
Most importantly, u need to know whats
your aim for this sem. Think. =)

Worst case happening today.
Its much more worst.
We all cried.
She keep calling us.
But we couldnt do anything.
We could just sit there and cried.
Felt so useless but what to do.
We're not that strong. :'(

Okla. Thats all for now.
See ya again. =

The Story Of You & Me
8:40 PM.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Hello. Hello.
Today mood.
Sad. Happy. Tired. =.=

SAD
1) I just got to know yesterday, one of my friend, eileen,
had change class from 14 to 12. And im not aware of it.
2) So which means, im alone!
3) New classmates, new faces except for few.

I went to school with my sis today.
Otw to school, i just feel sad.
Like dont want to go school like that.
But what to do. I have to.
I even msg Mr Starhub early in the morning.
But i knew he havent woke up yet. =.=
I msged Adeline.
Wanting to meet them all and go school together.
Class started at 8am but they all reach exactly that time.
One by one. Ade, Wini, Eileen, Pearl, Li Yan,
asked me 'am i ok'?
I smiled to them and i nodded.
But deep inside i just wanted to cry.
Luckily they never saw me in tears.
Our class just 1 floor different.
Before they all went off,
they asked me to make new friends, all the best, etc.
Thanks girls for the support.
I know im too emotional. Haha.

HAPPY
1) I met this girl from class 23 last yr in the lift.
Indeed, she same class as me. =)
2) Thahira, an Indian Muslim, also from class 23 last yr,
same class as me. =)
3) Which means... I GOT FRIENDS!
4) Plus me there's 3 of us malay girls and we 3 wear tudung.
(Me and Thahira havent get to know Afilah yet till now)
5) Syukur alhamdulillah. =)

TIRED
1) Yesterday im working until 9.30pm ok??
2) Waited for Mr Starhub to msg until i fell asleep.
(In the end, he dont even msg)
3) Class starts at 8am, which means, i had to wake up at 6am ok??
4) And im very sleepy in class.
5) Because the 4 modules we had today are all tutorials.
(8am-5pm. Imagine??!!)

So far everything's fine.
Just hope for the best throughout.
And i hope this new class would be more friendlier
and had the initiative of knowing one another
instead of just being with your old friends. =)

Just now around 11 plus during my so called 'break'
(had lots of break due to early dismissal of every module. >.<),
I called Mr Starhub after getting a green light. =)
Only for 2 mins because i complain to him
about my new classmates, etc.
Sorry eh Starhub, u'll be my victim for today.
Then in a while, i was eating hotdogs
when i suddenly remember him.
We love hotdogs.
He would make me craving for it each time he ate it.
Now my turn.
I make him a lil surprise by msg-ing him.

ME : U. I wanna tell u something. But i hhope u wont feel sad.
I just wanna tell u...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I just ate hotdogs. Woohoo. Haha. :P

Usually, most people would just read the above
and never scroll down.
So this is what happens.
He called me. Yes. He called.
(Though his pp8 low already)

HE : What you wanna say? (in a low voice)
ME : U read and scroll down uh.

End call.
I wonder what his reaction is.
Haha. But at least i managed to
make him a lil suspense yea.
Haha. Padan muka! :P

Ok la. I guess thats all for now.
I wanna go to sleep.
2mrw class starts at 9am oii!!
Must wake up 7am. Sleepy2. *Yawn*
Nights everyone.
Nights Starhub.
IMU! =)

The Story Of You & Me
10:03 PM.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

There's certain things i wanna share here.
And there's 1 most important topic
will be shared last2.

1)
School reopens in 3 days time.
And i really had to say,
I DONT FEEL LIKE GOING TO SCHOOL!
But what to do. I still have 2 more years 2 go ok??
Going to meet new friends. In fact, new classmates.
Will they be like my old classmates.
Pretty sure im gonna miss them yea. =(
Well, this is what life is all about. =)
Hopefully everything went well.
But just that im worried about something.
Im gonna study on economics, statistics.
Omg! Omg! I scared of that modules ok??

2)
Just now i msg2 with my bestie! Nad. =)
Long time never contact her.
But nevermind. I understand the situation.
Im busy with with work.
And she busy with her school stuffs.
But2, i just hope there would be a meeting
where that day, i'll get to hear interesting stories.
Cant wait2. =) Right Nad??

3)
I cant feel the same way as you do MR A.
I just like you as
my friend.
my workmate.
my motivator.
my laughing partner.
And most of importantly
just a friend and always as a friend.
Dont expect more from me cause u will know
i cant give you anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, a shocking news just bomb at me yesterday.

A : Hey. I wanna say something to u b4 i went to sleep.
Just wanna tell you that i like you. =)
ME : (Was talking to Rashidin on the phone.) Uh??
A : The feeling i kept for quite a long time. Its just that i like you.
ME : So, whats the reason?
A : Actually i like your smile & your sweetness.
But i just like you the way you are.
ME : (I never reply!)

4)
Ok. U have come to the most important part of the entry.
So nad. As i said to u just now,
i'll blog about me and him soon.
So, here it goes.
I thought of making a decision.
But i know both of it will make me suffer still.
Is it the best way if i move a step back
or a step forward?
If i move a step back, i know that i cant do it.
Cause i cant imagine my life without him.
But if not, i know i have to wait for him again.
The thought of "does he have the same feeling
as i had towards him?" will be left hanging still.
I'm making myself suffer.
So how? Im unsure of what i must do.
All this while, the feeling towards him
is just so different then the feelings i had towards
Faris & Ariff.
And if u ask whats the different, i just cant answered.
Cause. Cause. Its just so different.

He's the most im worried about.
He's the 1st who spent his night everyday talking 2 me on the phone.
He respect me.
He never feel bored talking to me despite my quietness.
He willing to understand me.
He always made me smile without failed.
He's someone with a wide thinking.
&& everything.

U know there's this feeling i had since the day
i told him i like him too after his confession.
Feeling of scared. Yes. Scared.
There's this qn keeps lingering in my mind.
"What will happen if 1 day he leave me & never come back?"
I once ask him this.
And instead he ask me back.
I just feel. Hmm. I just cant imagine life without him.
I just feel life will be meaningless.
And2, i just feel there will be no more after him.
Like 'lelaki melayu terakhir' la katakan.
Ya. Thats what i feel.
Its just weird. Apakah semua ini?? =(
And each time after we met,
and the time we go our separate ways,
my heart always shout his name.
Like doesnt want him to go. Wanting to spent time again with him.
But i never say. I just kept quiet.
And despite that, he knows but he too never say.
We just watch each other go our own ways.
I just feel scared. "What if thats our last meeting?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED

The Story Of You & Me
10:42 PM.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hello! Hi! Hey!
Long time nvr touch this laptop of mine.
Serious!
1 week never blog.
I week never chat.
Awww. Understand understood ehk.
Busy working.
Last tuesday till sunday straight work.
Tiring la seyy.
Only last monday, 2day till friday
den got off day.

Wasnt happy at all.
Cause im gonna miss family chalet. >.<
Eeeeeekk!
Before april coming,
i already told my supervisor, Catherine,
that i start school on 14 apr
but2, 12 & 13 i cannot work cause i got family chalet
and that 1-11apr i can work.
She een wrote down on the piece of paper for remembrance.
When we got our april schedule.
Im damn pissed off.
12 & 13 i need to work.
I told her but ended up im to be blamed.
Ok. fine. My fault. I shouldnt have said, but to write down.
But she wrote down ok??!
And she even had the guts to say,
"No! U never tell me 12 & 13 u got chalet.
U only said u wanted to take off on 9-11apr."
I was like WTH??
Hmm. Ok. Forget it.
No matter what, i still need to work
cause no one cpould cover me! >.<

I dont mind if i dont go.
But to think of it,
if i miss this chance,
its just so hard for my mum sides,
8 families to meet up for gathering.
Usually only once in a year we met them.
Thats only during Hari Raya. Hmm.
But nvm la.
Hopefully there's still gathering for us. =)

Haiz. Been having a bad headache this past few days.
And2, my hands and leg starts to tremble again.
So long never ate the medicine for my illness.
Simply because its finish, and i have not collected my medicine
for the next month.
Later i must really2 go and collect it.
If not. Hmm. And this throat began to become big
like last time. Oh gosshh.
Stubborn me. Dont wanna eat medicine again.
See la. Haiz.

Anw i dont really wanna meddle with ones business.
But i should say to u "youknowwho"
I dislike when u carik apasal with my friend.
Even if its doesnt concern me,
but let me tell u this.
To entertain people like u,
we dont need to think twice.
Because its just not worth it.
Just wasting other people time yea.
So u can get lose.

I can feel there's something bound to happen
between us soon.
I shouldnt have said that yesterday
but i have to.
Cause i dont want u to misunderstood.
Hmm. Take care at work.
I miss u Mr Starhub! =(

The Story Of You & Me
12:25 AM.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

There's alot of thing i need to share in here.
Sharing about everything.
I guess its so much to say thus i wanna let it out all here.

1.
I thought that happened long time ago.
And i have 80% forgotten about it.
But a few wks ago, ive heard the same thing again.
And im gonna say im getting fed-up!!
She knows that happen
and yet she still kind of finding a chance to get him
come her house la, buy this and that and whatever shitos.
One really fed-up incident.
We family wanting to go KFC.
Just as we reach carpark, she called.
Urgently need us to go home. Watha.
Really. Everyone was like urrrrggggghhhh!
And2, last2 wk sun.
She even ask him to come her house and fix the sink.
And2 last sun, my parents come her house again.
They bought for her kitchen's stuff.
Nampak sah sengaja asking him to come her house.
Whatever eh.
I dont know la if what i feel really the truth or not.
But its like always coincidence.
My sis really hate her much more than anyone else.
But what my mum says, she has a point there.
But the sad thing is, she doesnt know whats going on.

MUM : Kite tau perangai dia camne. Kita tk boleh ubah dia kalau dia
sendiri tknk ubah. Tapi jangan pandang dia. Pandang anak2 dia.
Walau jahat sekalipon dia, kita hanya perlu ingat semua kebaikan
yang kite lakukan pada dia. Kita juga dapat pahala. Itu yang
abah nak buat. Satu hari mesti dia menghargai apa yang kita buat.

ME : Tapi kalau dia tolong bukan dengan keikhlasan hati dia tetapi
kerana sebab lain?

Ibu terus diam. She's innocent.
I cant bear to see her cry if she got to know everything.
Ya allah. Kau kuatkanlah hati ibuku
sekiranya kalau dia tahu semuanya. Amin.

2.
I dont know whats going on between them.
But i hope whatever happens, they will accept it with
patience.
Always remember.
"Ape yang berlaku, ada hikmah disebaliknya. =)
And always remember.
"Takdir yang menentukan pertemuan yang tak disangka.
Takdir jua yang menentukan perpisahan"
- Arrow : Sendu dihatimu Rindu dijiwaku.
Ceh2. Haha.
U once said to me,
"If u love the person, let him go.
If he comes back, he is meant for u.
If he doesnt, he's not the one for u." =)
That all for u both.
Whatever it is, if there's a way, there's a will.
Remember that. =)
I'll pray the best for u 2.

3.
Perkara ini tkkan selesai selagi aku belum membuat keputusan.
Urrgghh. Quit?? No?? Yes??
I can sense they need me.
But am i belong there?
Or should i be there?
I dont know.
I dont wish to make any decision cause i scared i will regret.
Haiz. Macam ane la ni. -.-
They are all fighting. Never give up.
But me?? Hmm.
Pokoknya aku ngak tahu deh. :/

4.
I dont know if what i said,
really comes from the bottom of my heart
or just to please u. Hmm.
I dont feel like wanting to meet u.
There's always uneasy feeling comes
whenever im gonna meet guys.
And till today i still cant accept ur love.
And i my self not sure whether u are sincere or not.
I just couldnt even like u
eventhough i tried giving myself a chance.
There's only 1 which already remains.
And i dont wish that to change whatever happens.
Sorry yat. I dont know if i wants to meet u
like the way we plan. Sorry.

5.
Im worried about u Mr Starhub.
There's blood clot in your head. U dont even care.
Your throat hurts and cough non-stop. U ignore.
GO SEE DOCTOR LAH!!
Stubborn guy i should say. Hmph.
Among all guys, he's the only one i worried the most.
DEGIL PUNYA STARHUB.
SINGTEL YANG BODOH NI PON BOLEH ADVISE ORG TAU!
Haha. =)

The Story Of You & Me
9:34 PM.