Saturday, September 19, 2009
Just to let out.At times I realised I wasnt ready for this r/s.At times I felt he wasnt the right one for me.I never had any hopes or dreams when being with himI never asked for this r/s in the first place.But why am I torturing myself to just go with the flow?I might be crazy to even torture myself with all these.I was wondering how would it be like to be hurt once again.Its been a long time since I once faced all those hurtful moments.How hurtful would it be this time round if the r/s fails?I tried to trust him but I just couldn't.There's still doubts in him which I dont even know the reasons why.Never did I once controlled him nor get mad at him for any wrongs.Neither do I questioned him for something that I get to know long time ago.Though I really wanted to know the truth from his mouth himself.Scared that misunderstanding occur that I chose to keep everything deep inside.No matter how he convinced me, I would never be able to trust him.We never seems like other couples.We never met nor contact each other that often.We seldom joke around nor share our feelings.I know our love is not that strong as compared to his love towards his ex or maybe his timer.I dont wanna jump into conclusion in saying all these cause Ive yet to know the truth.I was hoping he would be sincere enough to tell me something.Something that's always been questioning my mind.Who is she to you?And who am I to you?I had these feeling that he wasnt the right one for me.But I chose to stay and be with him.Cause why, besides his weaknesses, there's still strengths in him.He would share everything with me.Whenever he's happy, sad, angry, he would call me up.And I appreciate that. At least im still in his thoughts.He's been my motivator who never fails to motivate me to study.He's an advisor who always advise me on studies, life and love.He never fails to share for something that he had experience before or learned.At times he would share his feelings, cracked jokes and calm me down whenever Im feeling down.Despite everything, I just feel I couldnt let him go.I'll leave everything for HIM to decide.Let fate decide everything.I dont have the right to stop him from doing anything.Though Ive yet to feel the love from him.Ive yet to trust him.Ive yet to accept him fully in my life,What I know I just couldnt bear to let him go.Its all because I started to love him even more each day.
The Story Of You & Me
10:09 PM.
