MST Week is over! =) I felt so relieved after ERP paper. I thought I couldnt do. But Alhamdulillah. The paper was fine. After some motivations from Bf. He asked me to sleep. That time was already 3am. But I still stubborn cause I wanna study for this module. He keep asking me to get some rest. Just to please him, I lied to him. Saying that Im going to sleep but actually I still studying. >.< I slept at 6am in the morning. And woke up at 8am. Only 2 hours of sleeping. Sacrifice my sleep just to study ERP. Well, never regret cause I manage to do the paper. So happy. =) Thanks to Nad too for accompanying me the whole night. We crapping all the way. Haha. Hopefully she manage to do her chemistry paper.
Anyway, I was somehow disturbed by what he said when we talked to each other on mon night. He said he worried about his love life. But he didnt wanna tell me what exactly it is. Till I have some negative thoughts about it. And I felt so uneasy. I started to feel that Im some kind of a barrier to his future. Dont know why I felt that way. That point of time I was really2 down. But I choose to keep it all to myself. I never share everything to him. Yesterday while talking to him, he asked why I felt so sad. He knows that I was thinking about him. He told me not to worry about that. Now I know what he busy with. I never knew he would do that. Setting up his own business indeed kind of risky. But he took the challenges. Hopefully everything will go fine.
Yesterday I felt something weird. All these while I dont know why. I never had all those feeling towards him. Eventhough I choose him instead of others. I dont know if I really didnt have any feelings towards him or its just that my heart keeps denying it each time that feeling came. When I felt that I need him, I scared of losing him. Everything. I always deny it. But yesterday when talking to him, he told me everything just to keep my mind at ease. He tried to explained things to me, then I started to understand. We spent some time talking about us. And eventually, I started to feel it. And now I should say, I cant deny it already That I started to have feelings for him. But I always told myself not to expect too much in this relationship. Cause its hurt each time been fooled by all those sweet talker.
One more thing. Someone already has a girlfriend. Up till now I still havent get the answer as to why he did that to me. So much for the love and trust that I had in him. All the promises that he have made. Everything that he said has no meaning at all. 1st time ever I felt I wasted my time on him. I wasted 1 and a half month waiting for him. But all I get and heard from him was just ignorance and 'GO AWAY!' Thanks very much. You are the most 'baik' ustaz that I have ever known.
Dear, If you could understand me, why cant I? Sorry for worrying about you too much. I just want you to know Im sincere. =)
The Story Of You & Me 9:09 PM.
.hEr BiOGrApHy.
'-NaMe-'
SiTi RoHaNi MuStAfA
'-PrEffErEd NaMe-'
NaNiE
'-D.O.B-'
14
JaNuArY 1990
'-PrOffEsIoN-'
StUdEnT CaRe TeAcHeR
'-SaYiNG-‘ ItS iMpOsSiBLe To Go ThRoUGh LiFe WiThOuT tRuSt
.DeDiCaTiOnS.
~ StArLiGhT tEaRs ~
The white starlight envelops the tears
The tears fall in the warm wind
Do you feel it?
This trembling, quiet whisper that is going your way
I drew you in this white paper
The warm smile holds me
Is this love
Even when i close my eyes, i see only you
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
Im walking in my memories with you
The tears fill even the deepest area of my heart
What should i do?
Even in my dream i miss you
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
Please look at me, like the faraway stars
Can't you be the one thats in my heart
I'll be waiting for you
I will wait for you
I dont want to see the tears of pain anymore
You let me know this love thats like a lie
I'll never let it go
Because that love is you
