♥LuAhAn HaTi NaNiE♥

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Peace be upon you people.
Well, Im seriously bored right now.
So why not blog.
Though got nothing to talk about.
Hmm. Let me think.

Ok. I haven eat anything from morning.
Just a home-made barley drink that cost $0.60
filled my stomach at school just now.
Mum did cook fried rice but i just couldnt eat.
The rice my sis cook is so 'lembek2'
and its really not so appealing at the sight of it.
So i nvr eat.
Im craving for 'FRIED KWAY TEOW COCKLES'
but i lazy to go kopitiam. :'(
And no one wants to buy for me. So bad!

Anyway, my bro, hakim,
go BRUNEI for 6 days.
Wahh. I envy him la.
Just now morning my family go out at the same time.
7am! I start lesson 9am ok.
Woke up 6am but i slept at 3am.
Just 3 hrs of sleep ok??
But nvm. For his sake.
Well, earlymorning already we made so much noise.
Hakim la so the kecoh-rable!
Pity him. Like never took MRT early in the morning b4 kot.
Haha. U know MRT always packed.
And we had to push anyone to get into the train.
And just now we really wanted to take the Pasir Ris train
so we squeeze ourselves inside.
Wah. Its really2 terrible i tell u.
Shall not describe any further.
Haha.
Just that got this Indian man,
smell like shit!
Serious. Im not joking. Ok. Full-stop!

Just now got 2 test. MMWD and IDA.
Overall. I should say.
MMWD i still have alot to catch up and practice.
Lucky its just a trial CA just now.
So this 3 wks of hols i really2 need to practice more.
No more slacking.
And IDA was alright. But still not satisfied.
Nvm. At least i know ive done my very best. =)

Lastly, aku kangen sama STARHUB!
Where r u, Mr?
Well, now i must be the one to call him instead.
Not like last time.
I mean ya. Its the same, im still the one calling him.
But last time he msg me, den i call.
But now not anymore.
Know why? Here it goes.

ME : June hols i go KL tau. For 4 days.
HE : Oh. With ur family?
ME : Nopes. With my friend n her family.
She asked me along.
HE : Ok. Good. At least i can have peace. Haha.
ME : So bad seh. Yela. U can talk to other girls pe.
HE : Eh, Nonsense. They the one calling me tau.
Its not like what i did to u. Where i msg then u call tau.
Dah la. Next time i dont want to msg u.
U want to call, u call. *Hung up*
ME : *Call him back*
HE : Ok. This is acceptable. U call me without me asking u.
Hehe.

See. So bad of him.
And its like so hard la.
I dont know when he free.
Kot2 he sleep already ke, still with his friends ke.
True? Haiz.
Its just difficult to entertain people who are so childish.
Haha. Oopps! =)
Anw, he told me he wll be working at Cineleisure.
Its so near to Takashimaya.
Hehe. U know I know can already. =)

Okla. I think i stop here.
Lazy to type any further.
Nights people. IMU =)

The Story Of You & Me
9:27 PM.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Im so fell in love with this song. Awww.

SETIA TAPI TERLUKA - IZWAN PILUS

uuuuu... ooooohhh....
Tak perlu kau bertanya
Kemana ku kan pergi
Setelah.... diriku kau lukai
Dulu aku berkata cinta kita bahagia
Tapi hampa....
Berkecai harapan ku
Oh bersama mu dan kini segalanya
Tinggal kenangan
Yang sukar untuk ku melupakan....

(CHORUS) :
Tidak ku sedar selama ini
Kau permainkan...
Kesetiaan cintaku yg jujur kepada mu
Mengapa mesti kau lukai
Perasaan ku kasih
Sedangkan dia itu menyayangi dirimu
Selamanya...

Berjalan mencari ketenangan
Teman berhubung
Menahan pedihnya perpisahan....

(CHORUS) :

Iman di dada memanggil-manggil
Nama mu selalu
Tapi apakan dayaku
Kau tiada di sisi
Biar ku tanggung...
Duka hidup ini
Moga esok cinta masih
Tetap bersemat di sanubari hati 2x

------------------------------------------------------

Ok. I know ive been feeling low this few days.
But i realise its been affecting my concentration.
So i guess i shall put aside this matter for the time being.
Next week i'll be having 2 CA and 1 trial CA.
I just wanna focus on that.
I hope it works.
So guys, i mean the 2 guys,
hope u wont be searching for me for the time being.
I will stay away from u both. Alright?

Anyway,
HAPPY 45TH BELATED BIRTHDAY DAD!

Dah tue jugak bapak aku nih.
Hehe. Jangan la nk step masih muda.
Da beruban da pon rambut tu.
Haha. Tk baik aku.
Ok2. I hope u like the hanky that i bought for u.
Green somemore tau.
Your fav color. =)
Semoga panjang umur and sihat2 selalu.
I LOVE U DAD!

Guess what??
I never go for GEMS and ACC LECTURE!
Ada reason ok??!!
Only I myself know it.
The hidden illness come again. :)

The Story Of You & Me
3:24 PM.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

My bestie nie sweet larhs. Haha.
From alot of pictures we've taken,
i super duper like this one larhs. Haha.
Ok.

Yes nad, ive been feeling so down this few days.
I just dont know why.
But perhaps ure right.
Maybe one of the three will stay.
But the funny thing is, its not 'him' that i yearn for,
but one of the other two.
I dont know why this feelings keep playing a fool on me.
Serious.
And i realise that i can even cried infront of people.
Let me tell u, its really hard for people to see me cry.
Cause last time i just couldnt cry infront of people.
But now, its just so easy for this tears to drop.
But why??

This morning when i wake up,
i just feel so happy.
As if ive forgotten every sadness that i had for the past few days.
I suddenly have the mood to study.
Happy2 go school. Pay attention, etc.
But its not long when during break time at 12nn
i check my hp n saw 1 message received.
Its from HANDSOME!
I dont know why my heart beats very fast.
And i feel emotional again. :(
Though he was just asking how am i.
Lols. I really dont understand myself at times.
I wish i could find the answer one day.
I really wanted to know.
Ya allah, apakah semua ini?

Another thing to share.
Just now my precious up upline call me.
Yes Mr Sufyan! =)
Somehow, i just dont understand.
Ok. AGAIN??!!
When i was about to forget something,
somehow, it will suddenly come again.
Yan was asking why i never come office, etc.
And i know my downline somehow keep asking e to come
but i always give thousands of excuses or if not,
i just keep myself in silence.
Btw, he loves to meet me and the rest on fri.
Im sure come down for the sake of him.
Haha. Cause i miss my presious up upline la.
He's full of craps and jokes.
Hee. Ok. I cant wait to meet them all.
Yippee. =)
Well, its not that i dont wanna go back.
I really wanted cause there, we are like one big family.
We share happiness, sadness and everything together.
But the thought of my studies,
i have to scarifice.
I scared of getting that kind of GPA again.
Thats really2 terrible la.
So now. What should i do?? Haiyo.

Ku banyak pikiran deh.
Gi mana ya?
Okla. Sampei disini aja deh.
Ku nggak tau ape lagi mau di ngomong-in.
Hahas. Take care people.
Good night!

The Story Of You & Me
11:15 PM.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Im feeling so low this time.
I dont know why.
Ive been thinking too much though i know
its a waste of time thinking about all that.
Yes. About my love life.
And im stuck.
As in im just so confused la.

This feelings of mine like kind of playing a fool on me.
Ive been crying these past few days.
Yes, i agree staying single is the best.
But somehow, we yearn for someone to be with us.
U know what i mean.
Hmm. And im facing that ok.
Somehow, i like to keep things to myself.
About feelings i seldom share with my friends,
even with my on besties cause hmm.
I dont wanna them to feel sad about me.
And to say, the 1 st person in my mind
when i feeling so depressed is STARHUB.
But i kind of realised whenever i need him,
he always not there.
And now when i got to know HANDSOME,
i share everything to him.
But he doesnt seems to care.
And im so embarassed.
I feel so stupid as to share all that.
I hate myself for being like this.

Just now im so lonely at work
when i start crying.
The 3 guys whom im more mesra with.
Rashidin, Fadzli and Hariz.
About Hariz, since our last meeting last sat(10o5o8),
he contact me no more.
I dont know dont ask me.
Hmm.
Fadzli pula, since the last sat (17o5o8),
we did contact also but not as mesra as the last time.
I dont know.
Maybe i think too much.
Maybe he's not like Hariz. Or maybe he is.
I dont know.
I just dont know.
As for Rashidin. Hmm.
I dont know.
Whenever i need him, he's not here.
And i dont know if im like a fool
waiting for someone.
How long must i be like this?
I thought of making up my mind.
Can i run away from all this?
Can i dont contact Rashidin n Fadzli anymore?
But the qn is.
Can i be able to do so?

Seriously, i really2 confused.
I just couldnt concentrate on everything.
Even my studies.
And next week is my CAs.
I haven yet done any revision.
Plus the projects awaiting.
And im really2 stress.

Ya Tuhan, bantulah hambaMu yang lemah ini. :'(

I need HANDSOME can??

The Story Of You & Me
11:48 PM.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

SAAT KAU PERGI - VAGETOZ

saat kau pergi....
berlinanglah air mataku
betapa sukar ku rasakan
kebahagiaan itu kini lenyaplah sudah

ho..................

tak pernah ku inginkan
perpisahan ini terjadi
ku hanya bisa merelakan
jika memang kau pikir inilah yang terbaik.

tak perlu kau beri alasan
mengapa kau ingin pergi meninggalkan diriku
karena ku yakin mungkin semuanya itu bisa
membuat mu bahagia.
sepenuhnya ku menyadari
bahwa cinta itu tak mesti harus memiliki
namun ku akn terus s'llu menyayangimu
setulusnya hati.....................

tak pernah ku inginkan
perpisahan ini terjadi
ku hanya bisa merelakan
jika kau pikir inilah yang terbaik

*Si handsome like this song* :D

The Story Of You & Me
12:33 AM.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Hello2. Haha.
Something has made me have the urge to blog.
Wanna know? Ok.
Here it goes.

To this new friend of mine.

-MUHAMMAD FADZLI-

I had a great day out with u just now.
Lols.
I know ive been thanking u so many times.
But i wanna thank u again here can??
Haha. Well.

- Thank you for wanting to meet me.
- Thank you for entertain me with the songs u sing.
- Thank you for the LJS treat.
- Thank you for sending me home.

Yes. He send me home.
But i shall not elaborate on that.
I know, he know, ok already.
Haha. Well.
There's just one thing to describe.
I felt so stupid throughout the journey. Lols.

Basically thats the thankius.
And as for the sorries.

- Sorry for being too quiet.
- Sorry that i never finish the food that u treat me.

So readers, I wanna ask.
When u look at his pic, u all guess how old is he?
(Reply me through taggies ok??)
I just feel so comfortable talking to him.
Seriously, he's very baik, sopan and respect.
Thats the 3 characters of him eversince ive known him.
Haha. But hey3. Dont think nonsense uh.
I just like him as a friend ok??
(Mana la aku nk letak si STARHUB tu??)

Ok. I guess enough of that.

Yesterday, i talked with Dean on the phone.
Ok. As some of u may know that
i kind of writing a poetry about him.
Ok. I share with him what i wrote.
U guys wanna know? Ok.
Here it goes.

- MUHD RASHIDIN -

SUATU PENYEKSAAN

Adakalanya cinta yang diharapkan belum pasti terbalas
Hanya dirinya sahaja yang meyimpan semua
Namun, setia jua sebuah penantian
Bagiku, penantian itu suatu penyeksaan

Aku hanya mampu menanti
Menanti sebuah jawapan
Wajarkah aku berbuat sebegini?
Tidakkah aku terfikir akan seterusnya?

Pernah aku cuba membuat keputusan
Keputusan yang akhirnya amat perit jua bagiku
Haruskah aku melangkah pergi?
Atau setia sahaja menanti?

Adakah ini dinamanya cinta?
Cinta yang memerlukan banyak kesabaran?
Adakah ia akan termakbul?
Atau hanya sia-sia sahaja?

Ku amat menyintai dirinya
Tetapi ku tidak pasti akan isi hatinya
Adakah dia juga berperasaan yang sama?
Atau hanya aku yang bertepuk sebelah tangan?

Inilah cinta
Cinta yang banyak penantiannya lagi penyeksaan
Walaupon jua
Namun ku tetap sabar menanti.

Then he reply back to me.

Sejenak ku terfikir apakah makna cinta,
mungkinkah cinta itu mudah untuk dijual beli,
Atau cinta itu adalah sesuatu perasaan suci dan murni?

Ya aku akur bahawa cinta itu suci dan murni.
Tuhan.
Mengapa harus ada mnusia yg bermain dengan
perasaan orang lain?
Mengapa tidak semua manusia setia pada kekasih mereka?

Tetapi andainya Si Dia tidak kembali kepada pangkuanmu,
jangan sesekali kau tangisi permergiannya.
Redhalah walau jauh disudut hatimu terluka,
Percayalah teman,
setiap apa yang terjadi ada hikmah disebaliknya.

Setiap pertemuaan itu pasti ada perpisahan.
Cuma yang bezanya ialah sama ada
perpisahan itu sementara atau selama-lamanya.
Oleh itu jagalah Si Dia sebaik-baiknya
sewaktu dia masih berada disisimu.

Aku akur.
Itulah kenyataan mengenai kehidupan cinta ini.

So how?
Boleh rate for the both so called 'poem'?? Haha.
(Reply through taggies ok??)
Lols.

*Somehow, u will find the link between the two poem.
If u can understand then good. Haha.*
I shall not elaborate ok??

Thats it for now.
Till then. Wait for the next-dont-know-when-entry!
Good night everyone.

The Story Of You & Me
11:28 PM.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I forgot to share something yesterday.
Im gonna share today then.
Last 2 days i was looking at my friends friendster
when i came across Faris friendster.
Guess what?? He got new gf la seyy.
Oh yea. Sexy kaperrr??
My mum saw it too.
She new about this guy.
She remember what i told her of his reasons.
His mum want to send him to Indon for further studies la, etc.
But it's all C.R.A.P!

MUM : Eh, si 'F' tu mcm paham. Ckp mak dia nk hantar gi Indon
la pe la. Kalau tknk kwn ngan anak org ckp jek la terus terang.
Mainkan perasaan anak aku je.
(That 'F' like real only. Saying his mum wana send him to Indon
to further studies la, etc. If dont want to be friends with
my daughter just be straightforward.
Hurting my daughter's feeling only.)

I was there, just laughing by what she said.
I dont know my mum still kind of angry about it.
Lols. Whats past is past la uh.
Its all meaningless now. Right??
Ok. Done about that.

Anw, i just went to Bestie's blog.
Ive read her latest entry.
I really feel sad for her with all the things that happen around her.
I wish i could be of any help to her.
But what can i do.
Felt so useless man. Hmm.
I could just pray the best for her.
To meet her up during my free time.
I would rather lend a listening ear
and share all the problems that she had.
Cause i know im not good at motivating.
Im not capable of doing anything.
Useless friend i am. Yes.
Hmm.
Sorry Nad. =(

Lastly ive to admit that ive made a mistake today.
I went out with Hariz after work at 5.30pm
just now.
Ok. Who is that Hariz??
Hmm. Ive got to know him around last 2-3 months.
I forgot. Never take note of that.
And can say he ok la.
Very funny guy.
Just now i feel so emotional.
I dont why even at work i cried.
My heart keep saying, 'I need Rashidin plss!!'
But i guess he didnt hear that.
3 days never contact him.
And im so missing him.

Last two days msg.

HE : U sorry mlm ni tk boleh call.
I kerja uh mlm ni.
ME : Hmm.
HE : Asl ni? Mcm tk suke jek?
ME : Tkde pape. Kite cume rindukan awak. Ok bye!
(So malu to say that to him u know)
HE : Ckp gitu terus bye? Buang 5 sen jek.
ME : Kite malu. And i dont know why suddenly i need u. =(
HE : La. Ckp ler. Ohk.

Ok. Back to the story.
Its the thought of needing sum1
that i dont feel like going home early.
Hariz asked me out.
We ate at Lucky Plaza Mc Donald.
He joke, he tell stories, everything.
But it the feeling of being with Rashidin
and being with him totally different.
And i laugh to his jokes but in actual fact i just couldnt find it funny.
And so i realized, i need Rashidin more than anyone else.
Where are u??
I really2 need u Din.
I seriously do.
Arrgghh. Im going crazy! :'(

The Story Of You & Me
8:47 PM.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Assalamualaikum semua.
Hmm. I guess i took this time
to blog on something
that happen for the past few days ai?

5 MAY 08
Ok. I never come to school. Alermak.
1st time never come school for the whole day.
I missed 4 lessons on that day.
Goossh. Hard time to catch up.
I just cant wake up early morning.
And simply my head and chest pain.
I dont know why.
Sis has been waking me up but i just could open this heavy eyes.
I thought of attending the 10am lesson
but ended up waking up at 10am.
Somehow i feel so uneasy and
of course 'guilty' for some reason.
Dont ask.
Anyway, late afternoon, met Sharona 4while.
She said she had something to give me.
Guess what??
New MORIJI for me!! Yeay.
As some of u know, my 1st Moriji is still with that 'Faris'.
I wonder how Moriji1 been.
But2. Lets just forget about that yea.
Anw, thanks Sha for the sudden present. Lols.

6 MAY 08
Ok. I feel happy bangggeett on this day.
I watched movie 'IRONMAN' at Causeway Point.
Guess with who??
M.R S.T.A.R.H.U.B!!
The night before i keep thinking that he just joking tau.
Yelah. If he serious of meeting me then i can feel it.

HE : Issit ok with u if we share money 2 buy
bdae present for my lil bro.
I forgot that yesterday was his bdae.
ME : Oh. Sure.
HE : We go with him to buy him present, then go watch movie.Ok?
ME : Ok. U tngk wayang dgn siape?
HE : Haiz. Nasib baik i mkn hamburger tau.
If i mkn batu, i sumbat ni batu dalam mulut u.
Tadi siapa ajak u gi tngk wayang?
ME : U.
HE : Then i gi tngk wayang dgn siapa?
ME : I uh.
HE : Ah! Lagi tanya siapa??

Haha. I laugh non-stop.
Serious i always think he just joking tau.
Tak sangka pulak dia serious. Heh heh.
So met him 5.30pm at our usual meeting place.
Before that i meet my bro for awhile to pass him laptop.
And im bad. Guess what??
I ask him to bring back all my books too.
And my bag, i fold it into smaller size
to fit into his bag. Wahaha.
Amek kau adek! =)
Yea. Meeting him at 5.30pm.
Ok. Before that while waiting,
i was thinking. Hmm.
'What will he be wearing eh?
Dont tell me he will be wearing selekeh habes?
Eh. No No. Maybe he wil wear smart2
cause wanna watch movie mah.'

A few minutes later, he came with his lil bro, Izzat.
S.M.A.R.T!
He wore black pants, crocs, kemeja n his cap.
And he hold Izzat's hand like his son.
Until he left me behind all the way?! Hmmph.
His bro really scared of me.
The whole day, he just kept quiet.
And i too, scared! Dont know how to entertain him. '______'
We bought tickets first using student offer which only cost $6.
But have to pay by nets so i use mine cause he din have.
When he wanted to pay me back,
idk why, i refused to take.
Nvm la. At least he can used that $$ 2 buy for his bro present.
We went to Kiddy Palace or John Little(I cant remember).
There's a lot of toys.
Then suddenly he asked me to take care of Izzat for awhile.
Izzat nk berkepit jek ngan him.
So i just tag behind then i found out why he ask to tc of Izzat 4while.
..... He was happily looking at PowerRanger MysticForce toys.
Alermak. So childish.
And as he once said, "Im RED RANGER tau!" Duhh.
At last his bro wanted to buy the toys.
I nvr took out any money for the present.

Den we send Izzat back hm.
And all the way funny incident happen la.
At the traffic light infront of his house,
while crossing, he ask Izzat to stand in between us.
But he like scared like that.
Know what starhub says??
"No need to be scared. This 'OLD LADY' wont eat u up la!"
He called me an old lady??!!
Yes. Just because im older than him for just 6 pathetic days. Duhh!
Reach under his blk, i walked so slow.
I thought of just waiting for him at the void deck.
Then he keep asking me to follow him up.
Saying his mum as me to come to his house.
Ok fine. I just follow.
Then in the lift when we 3 go in,
no one press the 9th button.
Starhub asked Izzat to press it. He repeat that 5 times like that
but Izzat just stand there keeping quiet.
Then he smack Izzat's ear from behind and close press the button.
Not that hard uh.
Then reaching that floor, he smack again asking Izzat to go out of the lift.
Im also kena sehh.
But just when he wanted to do that, i quickly go out frm the lift.
And... That door close la.
Hit me until im like da melayang2 already.
He laugh non-stop. Kurangajar betol.
Ok. Stop it. Im so embarrassed already.

After he send Izzat, off we go.
In the lift again he laugh about the earlier incident.
Then there's this apek also in the lift.
Starhub acting childish,
he keep stepping on my 'crocodile shoe'
Then i said to him,
"u so hungry uh unil u wanted to eat ur crocs shoe."
(U know crocs shoe got lobang2.) Hahaha
That time still early cause we watching the 6.45pm movie.
It was only 6pm at that time.
Then he wanted to go arcade play the car2 thingy.
Dengan semangat nye dia main.
Ada sampai maki2 because he got 2nd in place.
He not satisfied with it so he played for the 2nd time.
He got 1st. Cehh. Proud la tuu.
Haha. Soon 6.30 already then we went in the theatre.
Ok. Shall not mention what happen.
Just that the movie gerekk!
But serious speaking i dont understand the while story.
I sleep in the middle of the movie 4while.
And im nt focusig mainly on the movie
but him.
He watched arh so khusyuk.
Sampai tak ingat kat org sebelah. >.<
The movie ended at 9pm. And off we go home.

*Sorry Rashidin that i never talk to you that much.
U should know the reason why dont u.
I really2 happy being with u. Do you? =("

Okla. Thats the end of the story.
I write so long already.
Haha. Ok2 I end here then.
Goodnight everyone.
And to you to MR STARHUB.
Take good care of yourself at work alright?
I MISS U! =(

The Story Of You & Me
11:50 PM.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Assalamualaikum semua. Hmm.
I make myself free 4while just to blog.
Its been a few days since i last blog.
Busy u know.
So many things in my mind.
Its really hard to just forget everything.
Ive been thinking too much.
Somemore my health condition is worst.
Ive been really2 tired lately.
My head keep spinning.
And my throat like getting worst.
Because of that, i often sleep during lectures.
Ouh gosshh. Rabakz.
There's alot to share.
But maybe i wont be blogging all the things
i had to say today.
Perhaps will be continued in the next entry.

I really2 hate myself.
This brain of mine just never work.
As if the brain already dead!
We were discussing on project.
And i simply sit there hearing their views.
But not even one opinion came out from my mouth.
I tried to brainstorm, etc,
but nothing couldnt come out from my brain.
I really2 feel guilty.
Ya as if im like a free-rider in the group.
U think i like to be like this?
I really2 hate myself.
I just couldnt be of any help.
So people, tell me,
is there any formula or whatsoever,
that can make a dead brain came back alive?
Tell me quick!!

I dont know if the decision i have made yesterday
is a right thing for me.
I know that i'm going to make myself at risk.
The thought of wanting to help Mr Ramadhan,
really2 makes me came up with that decision.
I never been contributing alot.
Yesterday when i came back office for the 1st time
after 2 months of disappering,
i could see some new faces fighting.
They even make sacrifices just to help Mr Ramadhan.
And to say, i really2 salute them eventhough
they are not under Mr Ramadhan team.
But we are all from Pantherians!
If they could, why can't i??
I just hope that within this coming 24 months throughout,
will be a smooth one. I'll prepare for it.
Insyaallah. =

I'll be going to KL trip during june hols.
Ok. Sometimes, when i think back,
if i had known all this would come between the way,
i wouldnt have promise her.
But she really2 wanted me to go.
And i couldnt simply refused.
But nvm la. I guess i have to be more thrifty from now on.
I have to depent on myself now. Hmm.
Lastly, kite miss awak!
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TO BE CONTINUED

The Story Of You & Me
11:14 PM.